Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
