I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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