i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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