in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
