I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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