i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
