i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
