Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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