we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
