I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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