At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
