Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
