she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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