Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize