I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
bring money and cleavage
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
