So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
