If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize