I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
