gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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