Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize