Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I faked an abortion last night.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
