i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
