What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
