Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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