I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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