...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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