Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
love makes seman taste better
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
