Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
