oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
