I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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