What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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