did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When are your genitals available?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
