gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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