she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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