i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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