that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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