I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
