I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Too much gin, very little bucket
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
did you just send me my own nude
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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