Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You don't make any sense
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