everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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