So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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