I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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