When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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