just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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