Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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