He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
even my farts smell like vagina
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
