is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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