is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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