Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
being pregnant is like rehab
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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