So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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