Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
