He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize