Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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