turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
