You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
