I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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