I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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