she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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