How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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