I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
