how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
