i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
