i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
