carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
